The last several weeks I have found myself surrounded by boxes, packing tape, and sharpies as we have moved from our single family home in Lincoln Park to an apartment in Bucktown (two neighborhoods in Chicago). Working day in and out with packing materials got me thinking pretty heavily about a concept I’ve struggled with throughout my 31 years of life. I hate being labeled or "put in a box," as I truly believe I don't completely fit in one.
I’ve always been an odd ball. There are days when I honestly feel that the word misunderstood is my middle (if not first) name. I don't mean that in the moody rebellious emo kid way... I am simply full of odd quirks that don't fit into ANY current cultural box. I craft cakes but I'm not a cake decorator. I'm non confrontational and comfortable with nuance and gray areas, yet unwavering in my deep convictions and beliefs. I am neither a republican nor democrat as I can't fully agree with either party and yet I still vote. I am a nomad "gypsy" at heart, but have chosen and feel called to devote myself to one city long term. I am a Christian but wouldn't call myself "religious" because my faith is founded on a relationship with God not a set of moral codes, traditions, and/or rules I follow. When I look up the definition of "millennial" on Wikipedia, I see that technically I am one since I was born in the mid 80’s, and yet I sincerely cannot identify with the majority of their defining characteristics. I am wholeheartedly an introvert, but I also LOVE hosting parties, both big and small. I was born in Washington, grew up in California, lived out all my teen years in Mexico, then bounced back to Washington, and have now lived in Chicago for 8 years. If you were to ask me where I’m from I’d say California. Why? Honestly, simply because it feels like home when I am there.
Any one of these different parts of my story, my thoughts, or my beliefs could be put in its proper box, slapped with packing tape, and labeled with a sharpie. However, you can't fit all of who I am, have ever been, and what has made me, ME into a nicely packed box with a neat and tidy label. Boxing and labeling may be an efficient method of understanding, but it can never explain me as a whole. I deeply crave to be understood and to understand those around me. I am not naive, I know I will never be fully understood by everyone nor will I fully understand others. What I long for is to be seen as an open box. Others are free to look around and ask what's in there. I'm happy to tell them about my story, my life, my thoughts, my beliefs, and they're more than welcome to "take notes.” It's that final step of taping, labeling, and storing that turns me into an object of efficiency rather than a uniquely made human.
I want to treat others like that too, because I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that I NEVER label and heartlessly pack someone away due to a single interaction, post, or observation. I am learning to openly observe rather than quickly tape shut, and I am already noticing the loving benefits it brings. Join me, friends. I know I'm not alone in this. However little or much you can tend to pack people away, take a second to open that box and give the contents a closer look. You may be surprised at what is in there, or maybe you won’t be surprised by what's in there at all. To me, it's worth a shot if compassion, understanding, grace, healing, patience, restoration, peace, and joy could spill out of us.
I have kept up with my goal that I discussed in my last post about learning new techniques and perfecting my craft (right now I am focusing on the world of cookies). I have been pleasantly surprised with myself and how with a little patience I have been able to recall and perfect some techniques I thought would take months to get the hang of again (cough, rolling out cookie dough, cough). These could quite possibly be the cookie version of myself. Bright, sunny, and slightly whimsical on the outside, tranquil, dark, and complex on the inside. I recommend making them and refrigerating before you eat them as the filling tastes best cold and has a tendency to spill all over your face and shirt and maybe even pants if it is at room temp. I may know this from unfortunate personal experience ;) I absolutely LOVE these cookies and I hope you do too!
Citrus Shortbread and Lavender Chocolate Ganache Sandwich Cookie
Citrus Shortbread
Ingredients:
600g/1 lb 5 oz Cake flour
9g/1 1/2 tsp Salt
230g/8oz Sugar
450g/1 lb Butter, softened
Zest of 3 navel oranges
1 Vanilla Bean
Directions:
Line sheet pans with parchment paper or nonstick baking mats.
Zest the oranges and add zest to butter in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Split the vanilla bean, scrape out the seeds and add them to the butter and zest. Beat the butter mixture for about 1-2 minutes, until the zest and vanilla are thoroughly incorporated in to the butter.
Sift the flour, salt, and sugar together over the butter mixture. Beat slowly, just until fully incorporated.
Divide dough in to 4 equal parts. Wrap and then refrigerate each piece of dough until it is firm enough to roll (at least 1 hour).
Roll out the dough on to a lightly floured surface to 1/4" think. Cut in to your desired shape using a cookie cutter of your choosing and transfer the cut dough to a prepared sheet pan. Collect the scraps of dough, keeping them flat and layering them to prevent overworking, wrap and refrigerate the scraps if needed before re-roling and cutting in to additional cookies. Repeat this process with the remaining 3 pieces of dough. Chill the cut cookies for 30 minutes.
Bake at 350ºF until lightly browned, about 10-12 minutes. Transfer to wire racks to cool. Be sure to cool these cookies completely before filling them.
Lavender Chocolate Ganache filling
Ingredients:
15 ounces bitter or semi sweet chocolate, chopped
1 1/4 cup heavy cream
6 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
2 tbsp dried lavender
Directions:
Place the lavender with the heavy cream in a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer on medium heat. Pour the mixture in to a heat proof bowl and place saran wrap on top of the mixture so that it directly covers the surface. (This is to avoid a skin forming on the top) Let cool to room temperature.
With a tea strainer, strain the cream in to a liquid measuring cup, pressing the final amount of cream out of the lavender at the end. The amount left over after straining should be 1 cup.
Melt the chocolate with the infused cream in a heatproof bowl over simmering water. Add the butter and whisk until smooth. Take off heat and let cool to room temperature, then refrigerate, whisk occasionally, for 15 minutes, or until the consistency has thickened and is to piping consistency. Immediately move to the next step of assembling the cookies.
Assembly:
Fit a 10 mm star, or French piping tip in to a piping bag. As soon as ganache filling is ready fill your piping bag 2/3 full with the filling. Pipe in a circle to fill one shortbread cookie starting from the outside and spiraling in to the middle so that the cookie is completely covered with ganache filling. Top with an unfilled shortbread cookie. Repeat with the rest of the cookies and filling. Cool in a fridge for at least 1 hour before serving. These cookies should stay cool until being served.